


Mine

by poetdameron



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: (don't ask), Anal Fingering, Big Dick Madej, Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, First time with a man, Fluff, Frottage, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Prostate Milking, Rimming, VidCon 2018, light come play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:40:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: At VidCon 2018, things that had been left unsaid finally find release, and so do Ryan and Shane.Or,Ryan wants, and he wants all with Shane. Lucky for him, there's no one else Shane would do everything with.





	Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR MONTHS. It was seriously supposed to just be some porn thing but it became this monster with a lot of feelings and a small plot that may as well become a series. I really hope you guys enjoy it, this is one of my favorite things I've put out there.
> 
> This fic was beta-ed by my love and my like, aka [Naluh (beaniegara](https://beaniegara.tumblr.com/) on tumblr)! Thank you SO much, my dear, you are the BEST.
> 
> If you have tumblr and you liked this, please support me by reblogging the [original post](http://yaboybergara.tumblr.com/post/180754466502/mine-shyan)!

**Mine**

Ryan thought about it just once.

He thought,  _ I like this guy so much _ , a long time ago as Shane’s fingers passed through his longish hair in the old office’s kitchenette.

Then, he buried the feeling as deep as he could. Just as he used to when he was younger and changes were happening, just as he did when he was in college and refused to fall in love with an impossible person even if it had already happened.

“Come on!” Shane said, arms open, smile just as wide. “Up!”

There was a sweet giggle at his side but, without really thinking of it, Ryan basically jumped into Shane’s arms and when he felt the lift, he chuckled.  _ This is not happening _ , he wanted to say, but his words were eating each other, fighting for dominance between amusement and false disdain.

Shane was carrying him, bridal style, without apparent effort. He didn’t seem to mind Ryan’s weight and hell, he’s proud to be a fit guy.

But this fucking—this fucking  _ beanpole _ , he just took his little jump and not even made a sound as he maintained him up, and God, the things that were going through Ryan’s head…

“Wait, not yet!” The girl said, trying to fix her hair and Ryan knew Shane was going to drop him back to the ground. To his surprise, and he suspects everyone else’s, he was still carrying him as she prepared for their picture.

He could feel the warm of his arms and his chest, the soft tranquility of his breathing and the smell of his aftershave. That scent took him to other places; to dust and darkness conquered by laughs and Shane’s superpower of making him feel safe even in the weirdest of hellholes.

It tickled on his tongue and burned in the pit of his stomach, something funny happening there as he imagined how it would feel like, to just press the tip of his tongue on Shane’s neck, his wide shoulders, his clavicle, and chest, and—

“Wow, you are strong!” and Shane laughed, seeming amused by the assumption of being nothing but tall bones.

Shane Madej could carry him easily; it made Ryan’s imagination go wild, heart hammering inside him as he acted for this actually fun photo, putting one hand on Shane’s neck and  _ fuck _ , fuck him for being so warm and big. And fuck  _ Ryan _ for being so weak and confused about all this in the worst moment.

“You okay there?” Shane said, smiling at him as he put him down after the picture was taken.

“Yeah, man.” Ryan smiled his best shit-eating grin. “Who would say those bones could actually support some weight…”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” He answered, winking at the end just to be that insufferable.

Ryan rolled his eyes then, smiling while saying goodbye to the fan and preparing himself for the next one. Shane towered him at his side every day, today was supposed to not be different—except it was, except it’s been different for a while now.

It went on, that warm feeling on his lower belly, the sensation of Shane’s fingers on his shoulder and the back of his knee, the fact that he could manhandle him.

A shiver went up his body and Ryan shook his head. That was not the time to have another one of his crisis over dudes he can’t have.

* * *

Shane had a problem.

It had started with him jacking off years ago, the same average fantasy of always: some imaginary guy sucking him off, sometimes a non-existent girl riding him, nothing of real substance.

But that morning, as his orgasm was painfully approaching, since none of his fantasies seemed to help him out, an actual name slipped off his tongue and the image changed.

“Ryan”, and his co-worker was on his knees, looking up at him with those almond eyes and his pretty lips around his cock.

“Ryan”, on his bed with his mouth opened, moaning Shane’s name as he pounded into him.

“Ryan”, with his legs on each of Shane’s sides, looking down at him as he rode him.

Shane had slapped the wall of his bathroom, the sound echoing strong with the force of his orgasm, a soundless scream leaving his mouth. He stroked himself a couple of times, fingers coated in cum as his head fell back, eyes closed.

It wasn’t until his cock went completely soft and the aftershocks of his orgasm rode out his body, that a single moan left his mouth and  _ fuck _ . Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

That day he had wasted the hot water and couldn’t look Ryan in the face. They were both making a series together, The Test Friends, and Jen had arched an eyebrow when she noticed he was being evasive, trying to not be left alone with Ryan. And even with how much she had insisted on knowing what was going on, he never said a word.

A failed relationship later, three years extending his excuses for why he caught himself looking at Ryan more often than not, filled with wishes murmured into his pillows, romanced into the bite mark he carried for almost an entire week earlier this month for he had silenced his own scream of his little guy’s name on his arm.

Tonight, though—if things went the way he was almost begging for, tonight maybe he could take Ryan, let the man do him as he wished, share his breath and sweat, bite his shoulders, eat him out. Anything he wanted.

He watched as Ryan smiled at their fans, remembering how he had looked this morning when he arrived to the hotel. The look the man had given him made a strange shiver ran from his neck to his lower back, and Shane had wanted nothing else but to jump him in there, claim his lips and something more.

More, he wanted so much more than just a hookup.

“Are you alright?” Ryan asked; their next fan was getting closer, so Shane only nodded and smiled. “Hey there!” He greeted another fan and Shane smiled.

They took some more pictures, lunch time coming closer every second, but at least both were having a great time.

He had last night’s messages on his head again. Shane wasn’t sure why he had decided to do that—that thing of going out with someone else. Jen had eyed him so bad at the office when he told Ryan, that he wasn’t going to the first day of VidCon with him and why.

Everyone knew at this point, that he had been trying to get over his crush with his best friend for the longest time. And for even longer, Shane had to think of baseball and a naked Patrick to calm the mess in his pants.

God, if anyone noticed it in here—that he had gotten such a rush from having Ryan in his arms, this fucking gift that girl had given him.

The taller man swallowed, Ryan smiled up at him after he poked his ribs again.

His dick needed to chill.

* * *

Shane’s touch lingered on him for the rest of the day.

Usually, they never left each other’s sides at work and that was exactly what happened today as they hung out with Steven, Adam and Andrew.

The first hadn’t been home for a couple of weeks now and it sometimes felt like longer. His presence had always been grounding for Ryan, both sharing experiences no one else would understand.

But he couldn’t take him aside and tell him his latest bullshit, he couldn’t take him away from Andrew. He couldn’t do that to them, not when things had been so strange between them and everyone knew it.

Ryan had Shane’s smell today for he had used his soap on purpose, knowing well the implications of such simple act. He knew perfectly what he’d been doing, messaging him at 1AM almost daily with thoughts of unanswered questions and perpetual fears, searching for his comfort as he got over a break up himself.

Yet, Shane didn’t seem to mind.

Or so he thought.

Ryan looked at Shane behind him as the man playfully leaned towards Steven who immediately hugged his neck and asked Adam to take a picture. Ryan smiled at this, at the moment that was to become a good memory in a couple of months, years maybe.

His knee was touching Ryan’s, though. Something of him was always touching Ryan and it took him years to realize this. He wondered then if he wasn’t the only one thinking of every touch and every glance, every smile.

It made him wonder what would it be like to discover Shane’s head was plagued with thoughts of what Ryan was doing, who he was with, how much they smiled around the other, how often they seemed so close, so close.

The fantasy dropped the second Shane stood with Adam, both walking to the sweets table; Steven changed seats, sitting at Andrew’s side with an oddly shy smile.

Ryan looked at the scene, Andrew putting all his attention to whatever new thing Steven had found in New York and how, even though he was happy, he had missed being here: right there at Andrew’s side, with his eyes all on him and only him, Ryan suspected.

How must that feel—Ryan shook his head, he was being unfair and he knew it.

There was no one else Shane looked at as much as he did Ryan. It made him wish he would just do him without any more words instead.

* * *

“You look dead.” Adam told him and Shane looked at his side immediately as both walked around people at the party. Instagram was a weird host, but damn if their deserts weren’t good. “And you are way too distracted. Something happened?”

“I wish.” He confessed in a murmur, Adam looked at him but said nothing, stopping at the table and waiting for him to say anything else. Shane sighed. “I just didn’t sleep well; I’ve been on autopilot since I left work yesterday.”

“Well, you went out with that one girl last night, didn’tt you?” He said, taking a cupcake Shane had heard Steven wanted. “Any luck?”

Adam was mocking him, Shane knew. Bless this dude with his weird humor and understanding ways, he was a good a friend and the only one who may not judge his bullshit. Shane shook his head, knowing his friend would know exactly what he actually meant.

The date had been a distraction, some sort of relief after doubting so much. These past weeks had been something… else. His entire relationship with Ryan had been so different after filming season 4 of Supernatural, he wondered for so long if his friend had noticed, and in just two weeks, he was sure of where they were actually standing now.

Or so he hoped.

Tonight was gonna be his night, he assured Adam and himself as they walked back to their friends, Andrew and Steven so close to each other, it seemed like if Andrew was about to jump to Steven’s lap.

Ryan smiled at him when their eyes found each other and Shane swallowed at that beauty, the warm feeling his chest managed to express every single time those eyes met his, that smile brightening the room like no other star could ever do.

Fuck. He was in so much trouble.

“What have you there, Big Guy?” Ryan asked, right away taking Shane’s desserts to choose which one he was stealing.

“I thought you didn’t share food, Shane.” Steven commented, a little smirk on his face.

Ryan paid him no mind as he took the chocolate whatever that looked like a cross between the unhealthiest brownie ever and some sort of chocolate volcano. Ryan seemed pleased with himself to have gotten it and Shane smiled, ignoring Steven.

“Yeah, he doesn’t.” Ryan bit the thing, looking up at Shane with those beautiful almond eyes.

The truth was, Shane didn’t mind at all when it came to his Little Guy.

* * *

“You’ve been distracted.” He heard Shane at his side as they walked to meet their fans again, Ryan looked up at him with a frown. “Don’t give me that face, Bergara, I know when you are not here.”

“Uh,” Ryan sighed, “I’m just tired. I went to sleep really late last night.”

“I saw.” Shane answered, something weird in his voice. Jealousy? Ryan shook his head; Shane was the one out with someone else yester—they were  _ nothing _ . Just friends. None should be feeling jealous of the other.

“And so what? You are no better, you haven’t been all that here either.”

“Fair enough.” Shane smiled in that strange way Ryan wasn’t so sure what it meant anymore. It wasn’t mockery as he thought before. It tasted like disappointment, nervousness, something of the like. “So, how was last night?”

Why was he asking him these things now? Ryan sighed. “It was actually great. I kinda left Steven and Jen alone at one of the parties to go with the others… and kind of spoke some horrible Spanish while tipsy? I sent a terrible audio to Danny, too.”

Shane laughed at that, the sound making Ryan’s heart hesitate on its duties. Should it just go to Shane’s hands and never come back, or keep beating inside Ryan? The older man made a tsk sound with his tongue before speaking again.

“Curly finally got you to hang out with them, uh?” Ryan nodded at that, Shane seemed genuinely happy in spite of his funny tone. “I think someone has a big crush on youuuuuu...” He sang and Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Shane.” He answered, stopping in front of the curtain separating them from the fans. Ryan sighed, taking out his phone. “Ready for this?”

Shane smiled warmly at him and it happened, he realized how much  _ he _ meant to this man.

His eyes reached a tenderness he had never seen in any other guy before, or anyone for that matter, and it was all directed to Ryan. And he was so far gone on that discovery that he didn’t realize one of Shane’s hands was carefully hovering over his hip, not touching yet—

“It’s show time!”

With that, Shane looked away and Ryan closed his eyes.

_ Fuck _ , he thought as he swallowed dry and walked with Shane at his side; what he actually meant was,  _ he likes me _ . He had his phone out, ready to film their fans screaming when they stepped outside.

_ He cares about me _ , and that was a fact. A smile appeared on his face as screams of happiness filled his ears when they stepped out, hand waving to the people waiting for them, phone recording an instastory.

_ He likes me _ .

“I—“ Ryan started after they were put in the center of the Meet and Greet spot once his phone was on his pocket again.

Shane looked at him with a small frown after seeing his scared expression.

“I took your soap.” He confessed.

Shane seemed to not understand and Ryan was able to see the second it hit his brain, what he meant.

That Ryan smelled like Shane; that he had put on his naked body what Shane put on his every day. The man smiled at him, eyes shining with something oddly dark—some sort of understanding, the tenderness of before, and something more.

“Good.”

Hunger.

Ryan left out all the air on his lungs, suddenly laughing like a maniac when the fans in front of them started to do Shane’s Bigfoot Mating Call. Shane was laughing at his side, following their fans by doing it too and  _ fuck everything _ , he was in deep for this man, more than he cared to admit before.

“I love this!” Shane laughed at his side when it was over, the photographer moved them again, and Shane’s fingers brushed slightly against Ryan’s, the man looked up at his friend immediately. “I love this so much.”

He had said that looking directly at Ryan in the eyes, tender smile shining bright on his handsome face. Ryan opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out, and Shane smiled anyway as if he had understood.

_ He loves me _ , Ryan realized, eyes opening wide and stomach dropping suddenly.

_ Please, let it be that he loves me. _

* * *

“What are we doing later?” Ryan asked, getting him out of his world. Shane looked at him and blinked. “Alright, someone is tired…” He wheezed. “I was thinking we could go for dinner with Steven and the guys, you in?”

“Uhm,” Shane swallowed. How could he ask him to go back to their room, do each other, without sounding like a creep? “Sureee, why not? I could use some food.” He said instead, both hands on his belly.

Ryan laughed at his side again, and their last fan walked in.

It had been a long and good day, even with the tension he felt between them in the morning when he arrived.

They were in transition to something else, that strange stage after flirting and deep fears that have been shared in the dark, before they could call the other theirs. Theirs to laugh, theirs to do, theirs to protect and show off, theirs to love. He wanted all that with Ryan, and today should be his day.

Except dinner turned into weird pictures and loud laughs, and Shane didn’t have it in himself to deprive Ryan of this break from his constant anxiety and doubts.

He had to remind himself that his feelings for Ryan ran deeper than the space between them when they first met, and that Ryan may just be liking him enough to use his soap, mark himself with his smell, but want is not always love.

Andrew laughed in front of him. Shane blinked a couple of times as amusement grew between him and Ryan, the act just strange enough to make them both look at each other and there it was—those doe eyes, the epitome of what cute stands for in the most handsome face.

He had lips to die for, a body only art could form, and Shane was so gone for him. He was whipped for a man that was just his friend, that may as well never be something else.

But Ryan smiled at him, full lips wet from his drink and his tongue licking them before speaking. The man went back to the conversation with the rest of the people at the table and something inside Shane tightened.

Shane looked forward, trying to think of a way out, a way to be alone with Ryan. Talk some, kiss later. And so much more after that.

He knew Ryan well, “I’m gonna go, guys.” Shane said, moving to stand and he immediately had Ryan’s attention. “I stayed up late yesterday, I need some rest.”

“Awwn, but we are just starting!” Steven called him out. “Come on!”

“Would love to, but…” He yawned and put a hand over his mouth. Shane blessed his body for being so opportune with his act. “I really need some sleep.”

Ryan stood then, Shane pretended to be surprised, frowning at him.

“I better go, too. I want to watch tomorrow’s game.”

“Ryan! No!” Steven signaled him with one accusatory finger. “That’s not fair, we never hang out!”

“We hung out all the time when you are here!”

“And soccer will be there, I leave soon and you know it!”

“You’ll be here tomorrow, too!”

Both men continued bantering and Shane sighed, wishing there was a way he could just drag Ryan with him, run together to their room, get busy. He had to control himself, remind himself they were friends, they  _ are _ friends. Friends. There was still a chance Ryan didn’t want this.

He knew, for Ryan had told him before, that he had never been with a man. Not for lack of wanting, but—this was  _ Ryan _ . Who jumped at the touch of their fingers by accident and didn’t like to even joke about going on a date with him, that Ryan.

_ That was years ago _ , a voice reminded him about the last thing.  _ And that was months ago, too _ ; it said about their fingers.  _ Now it’s different _ , he admitted to himself only, now could be more if he had read the signs correctly.

“Let’s go.” He heard Ryan say and  _ finally _ . Shane waved at everyone at the table, Steven already looking fine as he opened his mouth for Andrew to feed him again. Dorks.

Ryan was walking at his side in silence and, like every time before, they settled into the comfort of it.

For someone as anxious as Ryan, he always seemed to relax in the moments they didn’t have something to say to the other, they always felt the same whether they were talking or not, and he always thought that a proof that maybe, maybe they could work out together as something more than friends.

“You know…” Ryan started as soon as the elevator doors closed, Shane looked at him immediately. “Today was good.”

“It sure was.” Shane smiled back, Ryan’s cheeks went a little pink and fuck—he was endearing no matter what he did. “Everyone was great, I had a lot of fun.” He added, Ryan nodded to both things while looking down, his cheeks still getting color.

“I wouldn’t be here without you.” He said so low, Shane wouldn’t have heard it if they hadn’t been alone. “You brought life to Unsolved.”

Shane chuckled, heart running out of his chest. “Me? Pfft—Ryan, you put so much into the show, you are…” He sighed. “Ry, all of this  _ is _ because of  _ you _ .”

Ryan shook his head, looking up at him at least. “It wouldn’t be this popular without you.”

“It wouldn’t be what it is without any of us. God, Ryan—“ He moved closer to him, not daring to touch or else he’d lose his mind. “Unsolved works…” Shane swallowed, was he really going to compare their work with his projections of what they were? What they could be? “Unsolved works because—this,” he gestured the short space between their bodies, chests so close, Shane could feel the warmth of Ryan’s body. “This works. We work.”

Ryan looked up at him, eyes so full of light it made his heart jump in interest as if called by whatever Ryan had to give him. He’d take anything, anything just to be near him.

“Not to mention the long hours you put into research and perfect editing, even when we have a team for that.” Shane added, arching an eyebrow with a smile.

“Oh, sorry I want our viewers to have the best version of us.” He shot back, no malice in his voice, just the softness of his eyes.

In the silence that followed their words, Shane realized they had a floor more and then they could walk straight to their room, get cozy. His time was running out, his chance—what was he going to do? Confess his undying love? Offer sex? Fuck, he actually didn’t think this through, he—

“We work.” Ryan repeated in a murmur, his arms suddenly rounding Shane’s waist and the man’s chest felt too full all of a sudden. “You think?”

“Yeah—“ He smiled in spite of his heart wanting to jump right into Ryan’s hand. “We do, Little Guy. We are the best team.”

The smile that he gave him, shit, he was such an idiot for that smile. Ryan’s cheeks were red now, but his smile was big and warm, and his eyes—his  _ eyes _ .

“You…” He paused, Shane licked his lips as he waited for Ryan’s next move. The door opened but none moved, Shane cradled Ryan’s face with his hands. “You like me. Do you?”

It sounded so surreal but it was not a surprise that Ryan had realized it all by himself.  _ Fuck it _ , Shane decided; if Ryan were to reject him at the end, th—

“God, please love me.”

Years ago, Shane heard about Leo, the guy Ryan  _ almost _ loved for whom he had joined a frat in college. The man never looked the same way at a younger and more confused Ryan. It broke Shane’s heart a little to hear that, but not in the way it did now, as Ryan looked up at him, asking him to love him back.

“Shit, Ry—“

The door was closed again and nothing moved, not up nor down; they stayed put as close as they could, stealing air from each other, breaths the same when Shane cut himself by kissing Ryan.

He wanted to say _ , I love you _ . He wanted to say,  _ I have loved you for so long it was tearing me apart _ . He wanted to say,  _ I’ve been such an idiot—we could had been together all this time, isn’t it? I love you, I love you. _

Shane welcomed the scratch of Ryan’s stubble and how warm his lips were. The man had been chopping on them earlier but Shane couldn’t care any less, he kissed him tenderly, the same way he put a hand on his shoulder at locations to ground him, just as he poured Ryan’s coffee every morning at the office the way he liked it.

It burned in his throat, the way Ryan kissed him back, opening his mouth because he accepted easily that Shane liked to use his tongue in a perfect kiss like this one, because they fit in here as they did on camera and by the other’s side in every ride at Disneyland, the rush of each one paled in comparison to Ryan’s mouth on his.

Ryan’s tongue caressed his and when Shane heard the small moan coming from him, his hands moved from his face to his hips, pulling him further into his body and Ryan moaned again, gasping for air when they broke the kiss.

“Ry, baby.” Shane spoke on Ryan’s lips, the man looked at him with watery eyes. One hand went to his cheek, thumb caressing it as the rest of his long fingers rested on Ryan’s jaw and neck. “You don’t have to ask me for something I’ve been doing this whole time.”

The door opened for them again.

* * *

They’d been so close for such a long time, it felt domestic to share a room in a nice hotel with a bathroom big enough to have them both brushing their teeth at the same time, putting on their contacts and washing their faces to get ready for the day. That had been their morning.

Shane in boxers putting on his button up, walking around the room before entering the bathroom to clean his nose, Ryan styling his hair at his side. Shane had smiled at the other man on the mirror when Ryan looked at his face on it. Neither said anything, just kept going like if that wasn’t so intimate.

But now, Ryan had Shane against the bedroom’s door, kissing him with all he had and this, this felt like home.

It was a sensation Ryan missed without ever knowing how it felt before, an experience his life was lacking and by any God, Shane’s excellent kisses and attempts at calm him down a bit were only making him want the man even more.

“Someone’s desperate…” Shane smiled on his lips, Ryan stepped on his feet, frowning. “Ryan—“

“Shut up, Shane.” He said before stepping away and getting on his tip toes, pulling him down by the neck to keep kissing.

At the back of his head, a voice kept reminding him he had only kissed a guy once and had never done anything else with another man before. He wanted this to be special to some degree, he wanted to tell Shane he loved him and he wanted to give him everything, as stupid as that statement sounded out loud.

“Baby—“ Shane tried, Ryan only made a pained noise at being separated but didn’t do much more. “It’s okay, we have time…”

“Shane.” He said with a warn, looking at him with a small frown. “If you don’t keep kissing me, I swear I’m leaving you.”

Shane smiled at that, Ryan’s heart felt two times too big. “So… we are together now?”

Ryan blushed. Shane giggled a little and he shook his head, walking away and into the bathroom. Shane laughed, following him and trapping him between his body and the bathroom’s sink.

He kissed Ryan’s lips shortly to then descent on his jaw and neck; Ryan’s hands went to Shane’s shoulders and sighed softly at the sensation of his stubble on his skin, his own skin getting that Shane Thing that his soap lacked, finally smelling completely of him.

Ryan stayed there, moving his neck to have the rest of his skin kissed immediately. He was loving this, wanted so much more than just kisses, so his hands went to Shane’s waist, fingers tracing his belt slowly, grabbing at the belt buckle and pulling, making Shane gasp on his collarbone.

“Baby—“ Shane looked up at him, Ryan followed his gaze and waited, begging with his eyes to let him have a little bit more. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“Shane, I’ve wanted this for years. I want to…” He swallowed, feeling vulnerable in the moment for the first time. “Please.”

Later, Ryan would think back at the moment he saw Shane’s breath get caught on his lungs, the way he bit his bottom lip and licked his lips before going for another hungry kiss, hands pulling at Ryan’s hips to let him feel Shane’s own semi.

Wanting to swallow Shane’s tongue, Ryan let him roam his back and squeeze his ass before going for that belt buckle again, this time succeeding in getting it wide open. Shane paused their kisses to watch him work on him, Ryan’s heart beating fast against his ribcage.

So. Ryan got the zipper down and the button open. Shane liked what he saw. Alright, he could work with that.

“Uhm,” Ryan swallowed, looking everywhere but at Shane’s face. “I—I’ve never—“

“I know.” Shane reminded him; there was little Shane didn’t know about him by now and the thought actually gave some sort of calm to Ryan. Shane took his hand. “What do you want?”

He licked his lips, played with Shane’s fingers and directed his attention to Shane’s bulge on his pants. “I don’t know.” He was honest. “What—what do you want?”

“Ry—“

“What you think we could try first?”

Shane’s face was a poem, Ryan did his best not to laugh but it was hard.

Luckily for him, the man cleared his throat and made them go into the bedroom again. There was little to no light outside, their friends were out in parties or in each other’s rooms drinking and laughing together.

He had better things to do, or to see, as Shane undressed him from his shirt and t-shirt, hands caressing his naked torso before they concentrated on undoing his pants.

“Shane—“

“Shhhh…” He exclaimed, not even looking at him while his zipper was going down and his fly was opened. “Relax, baby. Let me show you a good time.”

Ryan swallowed again, because—because he had never done this before. He had—he had put his fingers inside himself, had girls do it to him, played with some toys, had—had his latest girlfriend give it to him.

“Sit.” He ordered him, pushing Ryan to the bed, ass on the mattress and legs opened to give space to Shane who was now—he was kneeling in front of Ryan. And Ryan just—he—

But he had never had another guy on his knees for him and it, it shouldn’t feel like a big deal. He knew it, it shouldn’t be—but it was.

Or maybe it was just who it was. This was Shane.

Shane, his best friend that knew exactly what to say when he most needed it, who knew how to calm him down, ground him back into reality, how he liked his coffee and how much he used to fear his own desires—how much it hurt him to think like this before.

Shane, that always supported him and called him out when needed. The same man that was always there, that would leave anything and anyone for him—and fuck. Fuck, since when had Shane been in love with him?

He swallowed now as the older man took off his skinny jeans and his boxers with them. The way Shane smiled when he saw him bare, Ryan’s heart could only take so much—it beat harder inside, pulse heavy and hot all over his body while Shane nosed at his thighs, kissed his skin like if he was precious and this dream would fade on him.

Ryan didn’t realize he was opening more and more his legs, leaning on the mattress, until he felt the softness of the sheets on his back and shoulders. Shane kept his legs apart with his arms, long fingers caressing his thighs as his lips explored the inside of them, purposefully ignoring his throbbing cock.

Then Shane was licking a light stripe from his sack to the tip of his cock and Ryan’s lungs felt empty, breath going completely rugged and heavy. He felt that tongue firm on the crown, savoring his tip and every sensitive spot in it until Shane’s mouth covered it, wet and warm, tongue tracing every curve and line before letting it go to blow cold air over it and Ryan whimpered loudly.

“You okay?” He heard coming from far away; he only nodded. After a few seconds, he heard a chuckle and Ryan finally opened his eyes, getting up on his arms to look at Shane between his legs, lips shining and eyes clear as day. “Ry, baby, are you okay?”

He realized then that Shane couldn’t see him nod and he did it again, smiling at the man as he went down on him once more, kissing his shaft without taking his eyes away from him and fuck, fuck how gorgeous he looked doing that and how much Ryan was enjoying it.

That warm tongue went out again, following the vein on his cock to the head until he took it in, expertly going down and down until he was swallowing most of Ryan in one go.

Ryan’s mouth opened, soft whimpers and careless moans coming out without him being able to control it. Shane went up, cold air hitting the wetness on him before he went down with eyes closed, as if enjoying the sensation of having Ryan in his mouth, this time taking him in to the base.

It felt as if his heart had stopped, the whole seconds Shane spent savoring Ryan inside his mouth, touching his throat, showing off his good gag reflex. He had done this before, obviously. The little strike of jealousy and pain in Ryan disappeared when the man opened his eyes, looking up at him, the stretch of his mouth a fucking crime.

Ryan’s hand landed on his hair and Shane hummed in approval, bobbing his head up and down, up and down, until he found a rhythm that had Ryan moaning like he was getting head for the first time ever, toes curling on his feet as Shane kept his legs apart for better access.

This was good, this was better than he had expected. Ryan wondered if it was Shane being great at blowing him, or the fact that it was Shane on his knees, between Ryan’s legs. Maybe it was everything—the moment, the person, the experience, the first time element that made things a little bit more intimate.

He had wanted this for longer than he had realized before. Not only the desire of being intimate with another man, follow his heart, but to be with Shane.

God, he had liked him for so long, had admired him from afar, hadn’t realized how deep his feelings ran until relatively recently. He was a little bit ashamed to admit, he may have loved him even while with another person—but their entire relationship was so natural, so untouched by the changing seasons, that he hadn’t noticed until lust and desperation started to cook up ideas in his head.

His cock twitched in Shane’s mouth, he thrusted forward by instinct and Shane let go of him with a loud pop and Ryan lifted his upper body to look at him, see if something was wrong.

But Shane smiled at him, “Stand up.” He ordered him, his voice so deep, so used.

Ryan listened and stood in front of him, he saw Shane getting his phone and wallet out his pants, leaving them in the nightstand between both beds. He looked back, as if thinking something else and finally, his eyes landed on Ryan.

“Wait here.”

“What?” He murmured, but the man was up, walking away from him to the bathroom. “Shane?”

“Just a second.” He said from the bathroom, Ryan’s hand moved immediately to his dick, stroking himself before Shane poked his head out the bathroom. “Don’t touch yourself.”

“But—“

“I said don’t.”

He wasn’t sure why, but the stern way Shane had said that, face not showing any emotions but firmness, made him obey and his hands went to his sides, dick strangely harder, dripping pre-cum and twitching in the air every second he thought of why this was happening.

Maybe he should ask Shane later.

Right now, the man was back, shirt open and cock making a big bulge on his pants. Ryan swallowed at the sight, couldn’t help but stare. He was so distracted, he didn’t hear the bottle opening or saw Shane soaking his fingers in lubricant, going between his legs, until he hissed loudly at the feeling of Shane’s mouth on his dick, fingers on his hole.

“Wha…” He murmured, not sure why, but it made Shane stop. “No!” He said now, Shane looked up at him frowning. “Don’t—don’t stop, please. Please.”

“Okay…” He answered. “If you don’t like something or you need to stop, let me know.” Ryan blinked a couple of times and nodded. “I mean it.”

“Yes, I—I’d tell you.”

“Okay.” He smiled, making circles on his rim with one finger. Ryan’s breathe became heavier, sighs of pleasure filling the room again. “Relax, sweetheart. We’re gonna have some fun, yes?”

He nodded enthusiastically, closing his eyes when Shane’s mouth trapped his cock in it, going down on him, bobbing his head just so, hollowing his cheeks and drooling on him while his finger kept teasing his entrance.

It was such a strange feeling—familiar, Ryan had done this before to himself and so, but still odd. He was loving it, too. Ryan rocked his hips into Shane’s mouth a little, making Shane moan. It sent such great vibrations through his body, Ryan had to do it again and the man let him.

Soon, he found a rhythm in which he was fucking Shane’s mouth with his hand on his hair, the man looking up at him with an adoring expression that was just making his orgasm closer in the pit of his belly, hole clenching for that finger teasing him there.

Finally, Shane’s finger entered him and Ryan moaned, closing his eyes and arching his neck. It felt too delicious to be filled, he couldn’t help but enjoy the burn of the intrusion as Shane’s finger explored the cavity, going in and out faster than Ryan would have anticipated.

The man was torturing him with all this, this amazing moment of pure pleasure and just love, he was loving this so much, he wanted this to last forever—God, just let it be this way forever, let this feeling last as long as they loved each other.

Shane’s declaration echoed in his head, hips moving faster and Shane’s lips looking sore. There were two fingers inside Ryan now, scissoring from time to time, moving so eager inside him, he couldn’t help but just moan Shane’s name like a mantra until his legs gave up.

He felt his balance lost, stubble back a little and Shane let go of his dick and went out his body. The man pushed him softly to the bed and Ryan lay down again, breathing so fucked up, he thought he could asphyxiate at any given moment.

Instead, Shane went back to licking his balls and kiss them some. He sucked the left one while his hand went to his cock, stroking him firmly and with expertise. Man, he was just good, way too great, it was driving Ryan crazy and he wanted—he wanted him.

“Shane…”

“Mmm?” He exclaimed, tongue darting out to lick Ryan’s dick like popsicle, going up until he blew some cold air into the tip, making Ryan blush harder and moan louder. “Yes, baby?”

“I—“ He tried. Ryan gripped the bed sheets with both hands when Shane’s middle finger entered him again and sucked on the crown of his dick. “I want— I want you!”

“I’m right here, my love.” He answered, the fucking sweet names were just making everything more difficult and Ryan closed his eyes. “God, you are so beautiful like this. All wrecked and hard for me.”

He deepthroated him again, this time staying there for a few seconds, drooling and sucking like wanting to warm his cock and nothing else. His fingers moved, though. Shane had two of them inside Ryan, going in and out, searching around for a better angle until he hit his prostate, Ryan’s toes curled again and this time, the moan he let out sounded more like a scream.

The man kept bobbing his head up and down, free hand down between his own legs. He curled his fingers inside Ryan, scissoring them before going for his prostate again, softly applying pressure to it for a few seconds before letting it go.

Ryan’s eyes opened wide, Shane’s fingers repeating that over and over again, his free hand now jerking Ryan off, giving him praises and dirty words Ryan never imagined coming out Shane’s mouth.

He had fantasized so much about being intimate with Shane. He thought of him sucking him off, bending over to be fucked, fucking him hard against a wall—and now he had him, he had him chasing his orgasm in between promises and sweet names, inside him in ways he couldn’t explain, body and mind, heart beating so fast, Ryan could swear it was about to leave his body.

Pleasure became something else, that familiar feeling pushing its way out of his body and oh, oh he needed to stop Shane right now or else—

“Shane, stop, I’m—“

“No, you are not.” He said, Ryan closed his eyes and put his hands over them, moaning louder as the pressure became hotter, strange. “It’s not what you think, baby. Let go, let go, come for me.”

“Ooooohhh, Jesus—“ Ryan moaned, loud and cracking in every syllable, but Shane kept going.

Pre-cum was pooling at the tip of his dick, he felt Shane’s tongue taking it away as he kept jerking him and massaging him. He would later wonder about Shane’s great coordination, but right now he couldn’t help but moan every time louder and louder, desperate for release, for that pressure building on his lower belly to explode already.

“Shane!” He gripped the sheets harder, feeling his own nails hurt skin, neck so tense Ryan was sure it’d be sore after all this. “God! Fuck me!” He begged, no longer thinking or trying to, just letting it all go like Shane had told him. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuuu—fuck mmmmm… fuck, fuuuck, fuck, Sha—Shane!”

He came, and all just felt different.

Ryan opened his mouth but no sound followed, he arched his back while shouting his release on his stomach and chest, Shane’s fingers coated with his semen.

Nothing made sense in the moment, he felt underwater with all sounds so far away from him. Ryan opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling, his mouth opened again and a loud moan came out—then, his harsh breathing, sounding so wrecked, he didn’t recognize himself. A tear went down his face and he closed his eyes once more, getting his own fingers on his hair and arching his back another time.

All things he had tried, nothing felt quite like this.

Like if his entire body was hot, electricity filling the places he couldn’t reach and no lover had touched before. All corners sending waves and waves of sensations, and he moaned again. His body relaxed next, he wasn’t listening just yet, another tear went down and he sighed happily, content with what had just happened, Shane’s cologne so close to him…

Lips. Shane’s lips on his forehead, his big hands on his shoulder and chest. He was being moved, and oh God, Shane was strong—he didn’t look like it, but he could carry him, he could manhandle him, he could probably throw him around, have him on his lap, fuck him against a wall, just overall fuck him better.

Ryan opened his eyes. Shane was kissing his neck, and he could finally hear—he could hear Shane’s little sounds of pleasure and desperation, one of his hands down his own body, inside his pants.

He swallowed, moving to cup that spot. Shane seemed to notice, moving to look at Ryan in the face, an unspoken question between them and yes, the answer was yes. Ryan got his hand down Shane’s jeans, palmed his dick tentatively and—and—

“Jesus Christ!” Ryan exclaimed, taking all the energy he had left to sit down on the bed, Shane following just to stand again and Ryan swallowed, looking at that big,  _ big _ bulge between his legs. “Shane, you—“ Ryan swallowed. “Jesus…”

“It’s okay.” He smiled, his fingers twitched, probably desperate for his own pleasure and Ryan went red.

He had no experience with men, could he please Shane? Suddenly, he felt almost shy in his presence, because Shane had showed him a whole new world already and boy, he wasn’t letting go of him any time soon.

But now—Ryan swallowed. He pulled Shane’s pants and boxers down, the man hissed with the sensation of clothes moving, freeing his erection to the cold air. His cock bounced, hitting his belly, tip red and wide, large like pretty much everything in Shane’s body, and just—big. Big, Shane was so fucking big, what was he supposed to do with that?

“You are big.” He murmured, sounding tiny and just—in awe. “God, you’re big!”

“Uhm,” Shane cleared his throat, hand going down to stroke himself—no, to hide himself. Ryan blinked a couple of times. “Yeah, I know that—Uhm, I’m sorry.”

Ryan looked up to see Shane’s embarrassed face, pink on the cheeks, tip of his nose almost as red as his glans. He shivered slightly, looking up at Shane like this—he didn’t seem so tall anymore, he was probably trying to make himself smaller and he was, oh fuck—had he just embarrassed Shane for having a fucking big dick? Holy shit.

“No, I’m not—“ He felt his cheeks warm, Shane moved with his hands still covering himself and holy fuuuck, Ryan had really ruined the moment, hadn’t he? “No, I’m not… complaining, it’s just—I didn’t know!”

“It’s okay.” Shane swallowed visibly, sitting down at his side on the bed, embarrassment so obvious on his face, Ryan didn’t know what the hell to do. “Look, I… should have told you. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!” He sounded desperate, Ryan swallowed and went down on his knees in front of him. Shane wasn’t looking at him anyway. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it… like it’s something bad. It’s not!” He said, when in his life did he imagine himself convincing someone else that having a big dick wasn’t a problem? Christ, he never thought he was going to be able to actually see an actual dick in a sexual context. “I just—I have never been with someone who—It’s kind of…”

Slowly, Shane looked at him as he trailed off, not sure anymore of what he was saying and if it would even have the desired effect on the man. Maybe it worked anyway, Ryan realized as Shane took his chin gently in his fingers, lifting his face to look him in the eye, no expression on his until he started to caress his chin with his thumb.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to do anything.” He said. “Just so you know…” He smiled, there was something hot about it and Ryan wasn’t sure why. “I get off if I get you off, you really just have to enjoy yourself with me and that’s all.”

“Shane—“

“It’s your first time.” He pecked his lips, then pulled him up by his shoulders. “Up, I don’t want you on your knees for your first time.”

“But I want to get you off!” He said with his hands on the bed, face very close to Shane’s. Ryan was sure he was pouting now. “I want you to enjoy yourself, too…”

“And I’ll teach you how.” Shane smirked, Ryan’s legs felt weak. “Relax, baby. We have plenty of time, you’ll learn.” He kissed him again and, this time Ryan stood to push him into the bed. Shane laughed a bit between their mouths. “You are so fucking hot, though. I can get off just seeing your pretty face like this.”

Ryan swallowed, shaking his head with a hand on his lower abdomen. “I want to get you off… just—just tell me how.” He looked up at Shane’s face. “Please.”

“Alright…” He murmured against his lips again before kissing him softly, it was way too sweet after the orgasm Shane just gave him. “Sit behind me, come on.”

“What?”

Shane arched an eyebrow. “Are you gonna listen to me? Sit behind me, straddle my hips. Go.”

He nodded and went to it immediately, not sure from where this commanding attitude had come from but sure as hell, he wasn’t damn complaining. Actually—he liked it. Quite a lot, if he was being honest. And now that he was behind Shane, it was a good reminder of how tall the man was.

Ryan swallowed again, legs opened to each side of Shane’s body. The man sighed, leaning back on Ryan, pretty much lying on his chest. He smiled up at him from his new position, Ryan took the chance to kiss him softly and he felt when Shane took one of his hands and guided it to his erection.

He couldn’t help but moan a little into the kiss, Shane’s own sounding stronger when his grip on his shaft got steadier, Ryan more sure of himself and what he was doing. He pumped up slowly, down a little bit faster, and went on from that like he liked it best, hoping Shane would like that, too.

Part of him was giddy to keep doing this, learn more and just—God, Shane’s cock was hard and hot. If his moans were any indicator, he was enjoying himself as Ryan kept jerking him off, sharing sloppy kisses and little moans between them, same air and same space like he had wanted for so long.

Shane closed his eyes, kept moaning softly on Ryan’s neck, hiding his face there as Ryan went faster on him, wishing to see him come undone in his arms, just like this. He could feel his own arousal start to rise again and holy shit, this was just—so damn good, he could stay in here forever and never let go of Shane.

Except, the man seemed to have other plans. He groaned a little, squeezed Ryan’s thigh as he frowned but kept moaning. Ryan twisted his hand, caressed the tip of his cock to spread the pre-cum in it; Shane lifted himself up momentarily, moan sounding more like a pained protest and Ryan’s heart stopped.

“Too fast, baby.” He said, he wasn’t mad or anything, but Ryan panicked anyway. “Don’t, sweetheart. It’s okay, just let me—“

Shane kissed his cheek and moved back to the night table between both beds. He took the small bottle of lube and dropped some on his erection, making a delighted sound as he spread it over its length. Ryan swallowed, that shouldn’t be this hot, but he was turned on and couldn’t help but kiss Shane’s jaw and neck, making the man laugh a little as Ryan’s hand went back to his dick.

“Sorry.” Ryan murmured against his skin. “Just tell me how.”

“Start slow.” He answered, Ryan did as he said and he sighed, eyes closed, small sounds making Ryan lick his lips. “Go a little bit faster, just a little—yeah, like that.” He moaned. “You are so good, baby.”

Ryan swallowed, seeing as Shane moaned again and indicated him to go faster. Little by little, he went up and down, faster each time with Shane’s moans and commands as guidance for what he was doing. It felt so good to have Shane like this against him, and Ryan kept marking his neck and shoulders, kissing what he could of his back and down his arm, making him giggle and moan at the same time.

Soon he had a rhythm to follow, happily pumping him to keep hearing those sounds he made. Boy, Shane didn’t make much sound and Ryan wasn’t used to that either, but it was another thing he was enjoying too much. He never imagined he would get to this, would like the small sounds, the smell of sex soft in the air, the way their skins glowed with sweat and the smile on Shane’s lips.

The man opened his eyes, smiling up at Ryan and kissing him hard. He didn’t move, maintaining their lips together until he finally moved, hand on Ryan’s, making him go faster. They kissed long and messy, Shane’s dick twitching between their hands and Ryan swallowed, taking air before kissing the man again, jerking faster and making him moan more often.

While their lips were still against each other’s, Shane’s hand on his thigh gripped his skin red until his knuckles were white, fingernails hot against his skin and he just knew—Shane was coming.

The man nodded, Ryan realized he had said that out loud and Shane moaned louder, looking messier than before.

“Come on, my love—“ Shane said, Ryan moaned with him, moving his hips without noticing. “Make me come, baby.” He said, Ryan nodded, moving faster. “Make me come, my love, come on—Make me come, make me come...”

God, this was too much. He felt Shane’s body tense against his, the man squeezing his skin harder to the point he was sure his nails were breaking skin but he didn’t care. The expression on his face was enough to make him cum a second time if he wasn’t so spent already, and Ryan only swallowed, mouth hanging open a bit while he looked at Shane riding his orgasm with clear enjoyment.

His final moan was loud, sounded deeper than any other and it—it was gorgeous. Beautiful in an almost unfair way, the way he stained his fingers in cum and arched his back and neck, the show he put on and that left Ryan wanting more of this, wishing he could just get on his knees and suck on Shane’s dick, bend over for him and let him fuck him until he couldn’t even talk or make a noise.

Yeah, he wanted that. Ryan swallowed, letting Shane rest on his chest as Ryan distractedly played with the semen on his abdomen, trying to collect it all together to take it away. He took his own hand to his mouth, hesitated for a second until he noticed Shane was looking at him.

Swallowing, he put a finger in his mouth, testing—God, it wasn’t exactly good. Salty, just—weird, he had never had something similar, didn’t have anything to compare it with, but he liked it. Goddammit, he was liking this way too much.

He licked a second finger, a third, and stopped when Shane groaned at him, trying to stand.

Ryan swallowed, ready to apologize when Shane’s lips captured his. He hadn’t thought of how he was testing himself with the man, that Shane had his cock on his mouth just previously and now Ryan had swallowed his  come , and wow—this was filthy. Fucking disgusting. And yet, he was more pleased than he had ever been before.

“You’re so hot,” Shane kissed him again, their bodies against each other. “So fucking hot.”

He smiled, wanting nothing else but to have Shane forever.

* * *

When they came out of the shower, all he wanted was to kiss Ryan until they fell asleep. Instead, he got Jen, Kristin and Jenny at their door, wanting attention and Taco Bell, six packs in hand, very charged phones with instastories he wasn’t sure wanted out but in the beer-induced state of his mind, it all seemed like a great idea.

All in all, he let Ryan decide if they should let them in, and as the man looked happy to have the company, the smell of sex subdued thanks to their colognes after their shower, he said nothing and let him be.

The girls engaged them in conversation, put on music and Shane ordered food after half an hour of trying to get it together with everyone’s order, big laughs so loud he couldn’t help but laugh along.

“You two are weird!” Kristin said as Shane sat down with Ryan on the bed they had shared earlier. “What is going on?” She pretty much singed.

He saw Ryan swallow, looking at him unsure of what to say. Shane smiled at their friend and crossed his arms over his chest. “Not much, we just had a nap after the Meet and Greet.”

“What?” Jen smirked. “A nap together or what?”

“Uhm,” Ryan went red, Shane shook his head. It was going to be impossible to be lowkey about this, isn’t it? “No, we just—“

“I’m fucking with you, Ryan.” Jen said, almost rolling her eyes.

The way Ryan choked on his words by his side gave Shane plenty of ideas, he wondered how would Ryan take it if he just straight out told them they were together now, or trying to be. Jenny was sending them knowing stares and hey, he didn’t doubt for a second Jen’s smile was more of a knowing thing, too.

But it was Kristin who clapped as Shane moved his arm and put it around Ryan, hand on his hip. Jen had followed his movements with her eyes until the end, same as Ryan. The man looked up at him and Shane just shrugged. Better now than to have the office gossiping at their backs. It’s not like if he didn’t know they had a bet going about them getting together or not.

It was insufferable, and he loved it anyway.

“You guys!” Jenny said excitedly. “Are you two…?” She signaled between them, Jen’s eyes were big and expecting, Kristin started to clap happily. Ryan nodded with a tiny smile and Shane pushed him closer against his side. “You are! Oh, my God! FINALLY!”

“You did it!” Jen talked to him; Shane felt his face getting red and he hoped Ryan would let this slide and not ask what that meant. “You finally did it! Yaay!”

“Okay, no. Chill, chill the three of you!” Shane said, he was probably red to the tips of his ears and Ryan was giggling at his side, nervous but happy. “Well, yeah. We—we kinda are together now, but—“

“Kinda?” Ryan frowned looking at him. Well, shit. “KINDA?” His eyebrows were high, meeting his hairline and Shane laughed out of nerves while the girls were laughing at his expense.

“No, I mean—“ He swallowed. “We are, we are together!”

“OH! WHY I DIDN’T RECORD THAT?” He heard Jen say, way too happy. He swallowed.

“Well, just—“ Shane spoke to her again, taking Ryan’s hand to remind him he wasn’t ignoring him, just trying to fix some shit. “Look, it would be nice if you kept it to yourself at the moment.” Shane said, the three of them looked at him, he was sure Ryan was looking, too. “We still need to talk to HR and our manager, just…”

“Oh, shit. Right.” Jenny said, the room seemed to get tense and Shane sighed.

“Hopefully it will be a quick procedure.” Ryan added, looking deep in thought. He hadn’t thought of that, Shane was sure, but at least he was glad the man understood now what he was talking about. “But just for the time being, keep it between ourselves? Please?”

“Oh, yeah. Man, don’t worry about it.” Jen took Ryan’s other hand, squeezing it gently. “But for real, I’m so happy for you two!” She said with a big smile. “You guys are some of my best friends, it’s so good to see you together now!”

“The office has been waiting for this!” Kristin told them, Ryan’s smile went bigger and it made Shane relax, feeling actually happy about all of this. “You are gonna be our new office couple!”

It didn’t sound so bad this time. Shane smiled and felt Ryan hugging his waist to cuddle his face on his side. Shane passed an arm around his back and cuddled him against his body, kissing his forehead.

“God, you are so cute!” Jenny said, making them wheeze at the same time, red in the face.

They stayed in their room with the girls, having dinner half drunk and sharing little smiles while not daring to kiss in front of others, not just yet. It felt good to be surrounded by friends, Ryan at his side, with the hope that tomorrow that wouldn’t disappear and things would only get better from then on.

God, he had wanted this for so long… he sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to ruin it.

Which was why when, once the girls were out their room at three, almost four in the morning, Shane smiled at Ryan as the man made his way towards him, cutely tipsy and tired, kissing him softly, pushing him on the bed again. Shane laughed between their kisses, hugging him and kissing him back, hoping Ryan would know just how much this meant to him.

“Shane, Shane—“ He called him. Shane smiled, admiring how good and right Ryan looked all over him, it made him want to never leave this room again, to tell him how he really felt without holding anything back, raw and real. “I want you.”

“I’m right here.” Shane answered like before, smile on his face. “I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

“No, I mean…” He went silent after that, seeming to think what to say next. Shane got his fingers on Ryan’s hair, caressing his scalp while the man seemed lost, looking at his lips, slowly looking up at his eyes. “There’s no nice way to say it.”

Shane smiled. “What is it?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Shane closed his eyes, trying with all his might to not just—flip Ryan over and listen to his pleas. He had to remind himself that  _ not like this, not like this _ because Ryan was tipsy and he would never disrespect him like that; not him, not anyone else.

It would also be kind of his first time experiencing this and he just, he wanted it to be especial. Sue him for being cheesy, Ryan meant the world to him and he wanted to make him feel as good as possible. No hurt and pain, no rushed shit of what could be just taken slowly and good—it could be so, so good.

“Shane—“

“I want you, too.” Shane answered, Ryan moved his hips over his and he swallowed a groan, he couldn’t just lose his cool now. Not ever in a situation like this. “Baby, stop. No.”

“But you just said—“

“Yes, I want you.” He said again, sitting on the bed with Ryan on his lap. The man was actually  _ pouting _ . He looked way too cute and it made Shane smile, more determined to put a stop to this. “But not like this, Ryan. You are drunk, I’m kinda drunk, too. I want you at your best all the time, okay?”

He caressed Ryan’s cheek, he seemed deep in thought again and Shane loved the way he knew when Ryan was thinking, his little frown that he knew so well now, always so adorable. He did know him well; he knew so much stupid shit about this man—

Like how often he would change his pillow cases, a deep and secret fear of a growing bug hiding in them so present since he was a kid that he had more pillowcases than bedsheets overall. Shane knew Ryan wanted to get married, wanted to have children. He also knew he struggled half his life and some more when he realized, or was able to accept to himself, that he liked men as much as he liked women.

He also knew this was a whole new deal for Ryan.

Not just for the anal sex and the relationship with another guy thing, but being in a relationship with a close, old friend. He often met the girl, decided he liked her and went to ask her out right away. It had been like that with his ex, with his high school girlfriend, too, and now it was different with him.

Shane kissed him when Ryan took his lips, he hugged him tightly and sighed on his neck when they parted. Ryan nodded and it made Shane smile wider.

“You are so nice.” Ryan murmured. “You are like… the only good man I know that isn’t my dad.”

He chuckled at that, went to see Ryan’s face. He cradled his face, caressing his cheeks softly, smile so bright, Shane felt his face hurt. He just couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t just not smile—he had Ryan on his lap, he had Ryan on his bed. He had Ryan.

“I’m just decent.” He said, kissing Ryan’s forehead. “Let’s sleep, yeah? We have a Q&A tomorrow!”

“Mmmm…” Ryan nodded, nuzzling up against the space between Shane’s neck and shoulder. “Night, night.”

Shane chuckled. “You are a child.”

But he kissed his hair again, hugging him and staying there without moving for a few seconds before finally making him lie down on the bed.

* * *

While growing up, Ryan had a lot of thoughts on guys and girls alike.

He used to be scared of that, used to be scared of what his family would do and say if they found out. Would he be disappointing his dad? Would his mom cry? Would his brother be disgusted? It terrified him and he never spoke of it with anybody but Roland while in college.

His friend had looked at him with a frown so deep, Ryan thought his face had never been anything else before, so he looked away. Back then, when they were stupid kids trying to fit, he had followed some idiot around because he—he had something, something that made him want to be by his side all the time, only to be mocked for it once he was in that frat he worked so hard to be in.

Roland had called Danny, who called Joe and Tony, and Tony had called Helen. The rest was history.

Part of him didn’t like to think much about it, but Ryan guessed it had a lot to do with how much he didn’t want to accept he liked men and wanted to be with one at least once. So of course, he had to fall in love with the most open, most obviously out the closet, most fucking beautiful man on the planet.

It was almost like a joke, life deciding he was too stupid to keep appearances any longer. And so he talked, he went to his mom when he always thought he’d go to Jake first.

Before her, there was Shane. He had become such a good and close friend to him, always kind and funny, supporting Ryan in all his bullshit, calling him out when needed, taking care of him as he was nursing a hangover in his apartment.

He saw this strange guy in front of him become his best friend, and then a man he loved. And it wasn’t a brotherly love, a friendly thing that spreads with laughs and feels soft in the heart. 

It was the hurt when he went out with someone on a date, the giddiness of when Shane looked at him and complimented him, those butterflies in the stomach when he smiled at him or when he wore one of his button downs with nice patterns only Shane could wear and look like a piece of art.

It was the beginning of summer, the excitement of sunny days to have fun and relax. And it was the middle of winter, warm family visits with loud laughs and soft lights.

Shane had changed the game for him, it was real and right there for him to reach. It was possible, and even in the face of rejection, he wouldn’t lose him. The man was different, he was a decent human being and a good man, and Ryan had fallen head over heels for him.

He had said as much to his mother, and she had laughed softly in the phone, saying she already knew, saying she had always known and  _ I raised you, I saw you become a man, I’ve seen you in love before, and I’m glad you are telling me this _ .

It had been such an ending to feeling underwater without a chance of surviving, in a bottle that was suddenly opening and threatening to spill out but slowly going down again until it was calm and not even a sound could be heard.

Ryan had found such relief in his mother’s words that when he told his dad, his hands didn’t shake as much and he didn’t cry as loud when it was done, both his parents hugging him like if they feared he would disappear in his next exhale.

He breathed out now, opening his eyes to a better morning, soft blue light filtering through the curtains.

Ryan blinked away the remaining of sleep, yawning before noticing where he was and with who he was. He looked up to Shane’s face and melted, literally laying his face on Shane’s chest again and looking at him sleep in the tranquility of their hotel room.

Yesterday flashed through his head, from using Shane’s soap to kissing his jaw while jerking him off in this same bed, the girls filming Shane dancing in Jenny’s jacket, cuddling him to sleep.

It made him smile and Ryan closed his eyes again, inhaling that smell he had loved for so long in silence, and exhaling into this new and good thing finally happening in his life.

* * *

This was what waking up to Ryan would be like.

Shane opened his eyes to green lights and the sound of sports narration, little gasps and feet where Ryan’s head should be. And all he could do was smile, seeing as Ryan kept his eyes focused on the screen and moved his feet like an excited child watching cartoons.

He didn’t understand any of what was happening on screen, nor did he understand Ryan’s rambles about God knows what sport today and which one tomorrow, or the one from yesterday—but it made Ryan happy, excitedly talking and moving his hands, shining eyes he couldn’t take his away from.

Just like that, he could take any sports. To watch, to listen to, to go see if Ryan wanted. If it made Ryan happy, he could take anything he wanted.

“Good morning.” He said, stretching his body while sitting on the bed.

Ryan looked back and smiled at him, crawling on the bed to kiss his cheek. “Good morning. Did I wake you?”

“No, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He said before yawning, he needed at least a few minutes to be human again.

Ryan was pretty much awake, smiling at him and looking fresh as hell, like if last night he hadn’t been just a little bit drunk. Shane buried his face on Ryan’s neck, smelling his soap on his skin, noticing the man had showered. His hair was still a bit damp when Shane put his fingers through it before pecking his lips softly.

“Mmm, kiss me properly. Please.” Ryan murmured with his forehead on his, Shane smiled.

“Nope.” He kissed the tip of his nose and stood, “Let me brush my teeth first.”

“Shane—“ He smiled, “I don’t care.”

“You may not!” Shane answered, entering the bathroom and looking at his fucked up face and weird ass hair. He sighed. “But I do!”

He heard Ryan laugh outside, the sound of his soccer game going a little bit up now that he was awake. Shane brushed his teeth, thinking of the day they had ahead.

The Q&A wasn’t until later and Ryan had woken up so early probably for this game—the Mexican team was doing well and it made him happy—he really hoped the best for it, if it made Ryan smile as bright as he had when he went out the bathroom.

They needed to pack their bags, be ready for today’s events and then—well, he wasn’t sure what  _ then  _ would bring for them. He supposed they’d get back to their respective homes and see each other at work the next day. Maybe go talk to their manager.

Right now, though. Ryan was lying on his stomach on the bed, watching his game with interest. He looked like out of a dream, hair down and only in boxers and a soft looking t-shirt. Shane swallowed, licking his lips as he moved towards the bed.

He put one arm at each of his sides, making Ryan look up at him as he got on top. They smiled to each other and Shane leaned down to kiss him softly, lips warm and mouth fresh, tongue darting out to play with Ryan’s just a tiny bit as his hips went down, crotch pressing gently against Ryan’s behind, making him moan in the kiss and jump a little under him.

“You alright?” Shane asked, blinking, feeling himself getting hard.

“Yeah, you—“ Ryan was getting red, but moving his ass under him, giving him more friction that made him groan a little. “I’m just still in shock.”

Shane chuckled, leaning down and kissing behind Ryan’s neck. “For what?”

Ryan moaned a little, moving his hips a little bit faster, arching his ass towards his growing erection. He did moan now, he wasn’t sure where he was going when he got on top of Ryan’s back, but now all he could think about was fucking Ryan until all they were breathing was each other.

“It’s just—“ He chuckled, that little nervous sound he did that always made him smile. Shane kept rubbing himself on Ryan’s ass, game long forgotten, Ryan following his movements, arching his back so beautifully. “You are really big.”

“Goddammit.” His hips went faster, Ryan kept moaning and it only made him get harder, skin feeling hot. His goddamn ears felt hot.

“I’ve…” Ryan moaned, he looked at the screen when a ‘goal’ was announced but moaned louder when Shane bit his shoulder over his clothes, still grinding against his ass. “I’ve fucked myself before!” He said, Shane’s hips reacted before his brain, moving faster. “With—toys. But not—nothing! Nothing as big as you…”

He almost choked on his own spit. Shane had never felt particularly  _ proud _ of his body—his dick just happened to be big like the rest of him, it was never a big deal.  _ “Looks normal to me”, _ was always his answer, somehow actually embarrassed and maybe he had a little complex for the way shit had gone down ever since he started his sexual life.  _ “You are not putting that in me”, _ he still remembers that, and okay—

There’s nothing fun in long ejaculations, he gets it. Or in not fitting, or pain for lack of enough lubricant, and pants that don’t fit because he is way too fucking long and way too fucking  _ packed _ . Alright, maybe he  _ has _ a complex, but now, all Ryan had to do was moan his name, call him big, and he was harder than he had ever been in his life.

“Shane—“ Ryan moaned, he had stopped moving his hips, half putting attention to his game. Shane lifted most his shirt and he went lower, kissing his back. “Please…”

“Nope.” He said, smirking on Ryan’s skin as he disposed of his boxers. “We have an event later, I don’t want you limping.”

“Fuck!” He moaned, stretching his back when Shane bit his left cheek. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Some torture for waking me up with sports.”

“What…?”

Oh shit, no. Rule number one was communication for this, well fuck—Shane kissed Ryan’s back loudly and went up to his neck, kissing slowly as he went for the spot behind his ear to then bite it a little. Ryan moaned again, but was moving to see Shane’s face.

“I’m playing.” Shane murmured, as if someone would hear them. “Sorry, I should’ve told you first, just…” He kissed his cheek, Ryan was blinking, looking beautiful. “I got too excited. Sorry.”

“I’m not following here…” He said and Shane chuckled.

“It’s nothing, my love.” He kissed his cheek, up his temple and then down his jaw and mouth.

Ryan moved, kissing him harder with his mouth open and his tongue touching his. He couldn’t help but smile in the kiss, enjoying the sensation of having all this man for himself as he rubbed his erection on his ass again, making him moan between their lips. Shane smiled, looking as Ryan maintained eye contact with him, arching his hips up, ass against his crotch and wow—yeah, this was definitely a good dream.

“Ryan…”

“You like that, Big Guy?” He asked, and Shane could hear a tiny smile on his voice. “’Cause I love it, you feel so good…”

“Ryan—“ His voice sounded like a warning, but it only made Ryan’s ass move against his cock faster. “God, what are doing to me?”

“Mmm…” He bit his bottom lip, eyes concentrated on the TV again. Shane’s hands went to his waist, holding him in place to rub against him. “Holy shit.” He moaned, letting Shane use him as he pleased and hell, if that wasn’t the hottest thought. “Faster, please—“

Shane smiled, maybe they could have this conversation after all, teach him how to play. The idea made him harder, he couldn’t help but move his hips faster, chasing for that orgasm like if he was starving for it.

It was Ryan’s moans, his effort to keep Shane behind him at the same time he kept watching his game. The way he arched his back, lifted his ass for him, how eager he really was to be fucked, and how much he seemed to like Shane doing all this to him.

“Oh God—“ Ryan moaned, his voice sounded raw; he gasped in Shane’s hold and fuck, fuck this was such a beautiful image: Ryan bending on the bed, hips up, his back arched just so. “Fuck, Shane!”

He finally closed his eyes, and Shane smiled watching the show Ryan was putting on, thinking of how much he had wanted this, how much he wanted to bite him and fuck him, Jesus fuck—he really wanted to fuck him now.

“Please, please—“ Ryan moaned, face hidden in the mattress. “Please, fuck me, fuck me… make me come, please, please, let me come—“

“Fuck!”

Shane had a theory now, that Ryan liked him handling him crude and hard, strong in his actions like now, with him flipping him up. He saw Ryan’s cock, hard and red in the tip, dripping pre-cum and begging for attention, but got lost in Ryan’s face—that beautiful expression, what he had said the day before back in his mind, how he had asked him to love him.

He took his own boxers down, hard as fuck, larger than Ryan when he let his erection slide against his. Shane took them both with his hand, Ryan shivered and moaned even before he started to jerk them off.

Another theory, that maybe Ryan enjoyed the height difference between them more than he let on. And Shane? Fuck. He often got off thinking of Ryan on his lap, legs wide open, cock bouncing with each thrust of his hips, fucking him while sitting on his chair on their set.

God, he had been so fucking close to taking him to the bathrooms during the wrap party a little while ago, when he saw him with his name on his back. All he could think of was Ryan like before, laying on his stomach while wearing that shirt, Shane fucking him so good, he couldn’t even talk or think about anything else but the pleasure of it.

Shane moaned now, desperate to get them off as he jerked them together. Spit and pre-cum worked as lubricant and Shane felt grateful for each little expression on Ryan’s face, his whimpers, his loud moans, those faces he was making—it was all so beautiful.

“I wanna make love to you, baby.” Shane said after Ryan let out a long, deep, litany of ‘fuck me’s he couldn’t ignore any longer. “I’m going to make you feel so good, I’m going to make you see… shit!” He let go of their dicks.

Ryan whimpered but opened his eyes, arching his back as Shane went down on him, kissing his chest and abdomen as he did, until he had his nose buried in between his legs. Ryan opened them the best he could, letting Shane put one over his shoulder and the other as far as he could.

“I’m gonna make you see how perfect you are.” Shane murmured against Ryan’s inner thigh. This man was so gorgeous, was everything he ever wanted—and he finally had him. “How good you are, how good you make me feel.”

“Shane—“

He bit his skin a little, going between his legs again to lick between the base of his cock and his balls, making Ryan arch his back once more and yell, game long forgotten, today’s Q&A of barely importance when they were like this.

“I want you only for me.” Shane murmured, one finger caressing Ryan’s rim. “Just for me.”

“I’m yours…” Ryan murmured, Shane smiled and tugged on his hole with a finger to then just lick—“I’m yours!” Ryan moaned, hands going instantly on Shane’s hair.

For how long had he wanted to do this? Shane loved eating his partner out in any situation, and Ryan’s ass was perfect at all times; those round cheeks, the thick of his legs and body in general—Ryan was so fucking hot, and he was—he was—

“You are mine.”

He could feel Ryan nodding enthusiastically more than seeing him for he was busy with other matters, with making him moan and want more of him. If he could keep Ryan like this, make him feel worshiped like he deserved, then Shane could die a happy man; then everything was possible and his job would never be a waste of time, and each dusty to death place was worth the sneeze and the allergies.

It would all make sense, feel real—just like now as he lapped at Ryan’s hole, lost in the feeling of his fingers through his hair, the wonderful smell of his skin, the warmth between his legs, this moment filled with his moans and little sighs. His name had never sounded this good.

Shane circled Ryan’s entrance with his tongue, went in just with the tip and licked up to his sack, sucking on one of his balls before sucking at that sensitive space between his shaft and his balls, making Ryan moan louder, tensing in his arms. Shane smiled to himself, lifting his body to watch Ryan come like this.

He followed the sweat on his neck, the way the tension of his muscles marked them more and all he could do was lick his lips and give his own cock a tug. He still had Ryan’s leg over his shoulder, he kissed it and watched as Ryan realized what was happening now.

“Gorgeous angel.” He called him, Ryan swallowed visibly. “Touch yourself, baby.”

Ryan nodded, hand immediately on his dick, eyes on Shane as he sped up the pace. Shane smiled, following Ryan’s rhythm on himself, smiling wider when he saw him frown, moaning with his mouth wide open and his neck arching—he looked so gorgeous like this—and finally, he came on his stomach, coating his fingers as he emptied his cock.

He kept jerking his own, watching Ryan stretch and sigh with closed eyes, enjoying his own orgasm under him. 

Shane knew every detail of Ryan’s face, his job allowing him to look at the man for prolonged periods of time without anyone questioning him, and now he had the chance to learn each birthmark and each line, ever single hair, corner and private place of Ryan’s body. So he followed the movement of his chest going up and down, his erected nipples and the beautiful lines of his abdomen, the way he was this big and this strong, and still looked up at him like if Shane could swallow him whole.

Maybe because he could, because somehow they were oddly right for each other, so different yet just fitting. He came thinking of that, of how he could lift Ryan, the strongest man he has ever known, and could probably fuck him against a wall and plenty other places, and Ryan would call him  _ sir _ and fuck, fuck, fuck—

“Shit!”

His thoughts were all over the place, and when he opened his eyes, he realized he had cum on Ryan’s stomach and chest and the man was—he was—

“Fuck, don’t—“ Shane swallowed, seeing Ryan take his finger coated in Shane’s semen he had taken from his chest to his mouth. “Jesus fuck…”

Ryan closed his eyes, looking like he was savoring it. He frowned a little, but sucked on his finger as if he had just found something delicious and wanted it all for him. The man looked up at him with his finger still inside his mouth, smiling around it like the little devil he was and Shane laughed, hand on his cheek, caressing softly before going down to kiss him.

If he was tasting himself on Ryan’s mouth, he didn’t care. Ryan’s lips were addictive, had wrapped Shane to him forever since the second they kissed for the first time and Shane wanted nothing to do with a life where he couldn’t have this.

He lay at his side, looking at the ceiling as his breathing went back to normal, Ryan looking back at the TV as his game was still going and Shane chuckled, kissing his jaw before standing up to get him a towel and clean him as he kept watching the game.

“What…?” Ryan laughed at the feeling of the wetness on his stomach. “I can do that myself.”

Shane smiled at him. “I don’t care.”

He’d have that conversation with Ryan later, probably months from now, but for that moment—hell, something told him they may as well be a good fit for  _ that _ , too.

* * *

Ryan didn’t think his instastory would call everyone’s attention the way it did, but he guessed he was not going around uploading Shane after a nap, looking well fucked, lazy and happy. It had given him a few questions, Shane had laughed when he saw he ended up recording him after all, but the man only kissed his cheek and kept going.

They looked away to the crowned room and holy shit, how? How had this happened? When had the show grown this popular that so many people had showed up not just for the Meet and Greet, but their panel? It was almost scary.

Almost. Because he had Shane, and he had the security of a loyal and loving fanbase.

He had Shane, for fuck’s sake—he finally was there.

It had turned out well, he wasn’t the only one pining and thinking of the other at all times, every day, having fantasies cross his mind in every breath like if he was a teen again, dreaming of his crush at school.

Now, sitting at his side with Curly smiling as the people kept yelling for them, it all felt exactly like that. Like a dream, one he could have and touch, something of his very own; he just could keep going on, go ahead, get all he wanted, his dreams materializing in his hands, Shane included.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile as he watched Shane answer some question he had already forgotten, his chest feeling full but light. He smiled wider when Shane looked at him, the man smiling as well and blinking, waiting for him to say something.

“What do you think?” He insisted, his smile more like a fucking smirk. “What d’you like the most about me?”

“Uhm,” He laughed into the mic, everyone echoed him and Ryan swallowed, lifting his body to face the crowded room. “That’s a tough one!”

While everyone laughed, Shane fake gasped in offense, one hand on his chest, and Ryan laughed with the rest of their fans. He wanted to reach out and touch Shane’s hand, take it. He wanted to put his hand on his knee and squeeze, reassure him that he was just joking. Shane’s eyes twinkled as they went back to the question, and he understood he knew that already.

But still, he wanted the freedom to do all these things. He wanted everyone to know, and just like that—any other fear he could have about how he would be seen, about what was to come, their jobs, followers, their families. It didn’t matter anymore if at the end of the day he got to see that face, that smile, kiss it to dream tenderly in his arms.

“I love his calm and chill demeanor.” He answered, looking at Shane and feeling his face warm up. He looked back at the people, who were cheering, and he chuckled. If they knew. “It’s like comfort to me, to be honest. I wish I could be like that sometimes.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “Just sometimes, most times he is like—emotionless and shit, that’s not cool. It’s weird.” He looked at Shane, who had put on his I’m Not Human face to make everyone laugh. “You are weird.”

“Thank you, Ryan.” The man answered and Ryan felt his ears hot. “I like Ryan’s passion and crave for knowledge. It’s very inspiring.” He said, looking at Ryan for that last part.

They could keep doing this, being fools in love, pretending they weren’t, in front of everyone, but for the first time in his life, Ryan wanted the whole package. He wanted his parents to know, he wanted to visit Shane’s parents and meet them officially, he wanted to sleep in Shane’s bed and hold his hand to work, kiss his cheek at Disneyland, cuddle in the theater, all that jazz.

Many similar ideas came to mind as the day went by, the Q&A a success, one last party and dinner with friends and co-workers, too.

He watched as Shane talked to Roland, going to get drinks for the three of them, and Ryan was sure this was exactly what he had always wanted. Someone who could blend in in all parts of his life, from his work to his friends, his parents and his every day.

Shane had many of his odd passions, he followed when they talked of movies and food; they were so in sync, Ryan was surprised it took so long for them to get together.

“Come with me tonight.” Ryan suggested when everyone was ready to go, his friends would know exactly what was going on once they got home, but to hell with them. “Stay with me.”

The man smiled at him and only nodded, side eyeing Roland. “You sure about that?”

Ryan nodded, too. “They were going to know eventually…”

At Shane’s little hesitation, Ryan sighed before rounding his hips with his arms, head on his chest. He felt Shane chuckle, arms around Ryan almost immediately, his cheek on Ryan’s head.

Behind them, Steve was giggling. He knew his friends would be watching and would come to their own conclusions, and the next day at work they would be bombed with a hundred million questions and curious looks.

“Okay.” Shane murmured, looking down at him, making Ryan smile. “We are speaking to Kate tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, definitely.” He said, smiling wider. “Uhmm…” Ryan swallowed, not sure what had gotten into him, and yet—“I love you.”

Their Lyft had arrived already, but Ryan saw Shane smile, going down to kiss him softly.

Someone gasped near them, some muffled giggles and voices were around his ears, but Ryan silenced them all just to enjoy this. Shane’s lips tasted like alcohol now, but they were as good and as soft as before—he was a good kisser, his stubble felt incredible against Ryan’s own and suddenly, he wanted to feel that everywhere on his body.

Maybe Shane somehow knew, because he was smiling like the devil once he went away from Ryan’s face and lips. Ryan swallowed, following him to the car without another word or glance to their friends, suddenly convinced he needed to get home and lock them both into his room.

All he wanted was at his side now, nothing mattered anymore.

*******

******

*****

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has a sequel and a third part on the works.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://yaboybergara.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


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